Many people who are subject to domestic or family violence will chose not to leave the relationship, or may leave, only to return. These decisions are usually based on a range of experiences and assumptions, which may include:
- A sense of responsibility to the children to keep the family intact
- Ongoing harassment and violence against themselves and the children. Studies have shown that the safety of women and children is most at risk in the period directly after leaving a violent partner.
- Poverty, homelessness and other practical difficulties arising from leaving the relationship
- Fear for the safety of the children when attending contact with the other parent
- Love and a belief in the promises of their partner that the violence will stop.
It is important to remember that most people who experience violence do not want the relationship to end, they want the violence to stop.
Rather than asking why people use violence, or why people stay in violent relationships, a more useful question might be: "What prevents the abusive person from having respectful, healthy relationships with others?"
